Jeff Bezos rode a giant dick-shaped ship to space for ten minutes. Liza Minnelli outlives Jeff Bezos’s minutes-long journey into the dinkiest part of space I wonder how many hungry Americans died while didn’t really go to real space? Sure Amazon employees are forced to pee in bottles and work in inhumane conditions but at least Jeff Bezos got to ride a giant dick into space. Jeff bezos flying a dick into space is pretty sus ngl Who among us hasn’t ridden a giant dick to get over a breakup Jeff bezos BLASTED off in a giant dick today…… good morning #BlueOrigin DICKS IN SPAAAAAAACE!!!! /RximalwIzuĪND ITS NAME IS BLUE?!!? It’s baffling and also just a blatant show of wealth that he could have just used to help the world but instead spent billions of dollars to go to the EDGE of space and float for a few minutes and make jokes before coming right back home. To help set the scene as we continue to talk about Bezos, here is a perfect song:Įverything else about billionaires going to space aside, no one could handle the particular shape of Bezos’ rocket. We were able to fly with a piece of canvas from the Wright Flyer, so the plane that the Wright Brothers flew, we brought a piece of that canvas with us which was really powerful, as well as a bronze medallion that was made from the first hot air balloon flight in 1783, which was the first time man ever, you know, left the Earth in controlled flight so we were very thrilled to bring both of those along with us. In an insufferable move, the Bezos Bros (Mark Bezos and Jeff Bezos) went to space (barely) together and brought some “special” things with them. To be fair, all rockets are at least vaguely similar in shape, but Bezos’ feels like the closest to a full Dr. The Blue Origin New Shepard went up and back down in quick succession, and then had press stories going up all day that lasted longer than the actual flight. Truly, the dick jokes just write themselves at this point. That's.So Jeff Bezos has a dick-shaped spaceship-one that he rode to space on. Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing! Fan: It's so huge. Cyclops: Hey, what's that? It looks like a.įan: (.)! (.) Harrelson! Could I have your autograph? Harrelson: Sure. Step right up and see the (.)! Cyclops: RARRR. Peanut Vendor: Lord Almighty! Woman: That looks just like my husband's.Ĭircus Barker: (.). Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or.ĭad : (.)? Any of your kids want another (.)? Friendly Son: Dad, what's that? Dad: I don't know, son, but it has great big. Evil? Radar Operator: No, sir, he got away in that big spaceship that looks like a huge. Musician: (.)! Other musician: Yeah? Musician: What's that? Other musician: Well, that looks like a huge.Ĭolonel: (.)! Radar Operator: Yes, sir? Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.īasil: Did we get Dr. It looks just like an enormous.Ĭhinese Teacher: (.)! Pay attention! Student: I was distracted by that giant flying. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with.īaseball Umpire: (.)! What is that. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a (.), it looks like someone's.Īrmy Sergeant: (.)! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge.īird-Watching Woman: (.)! Bird-Watching Man: Ooh, Where? Woman: Over there. Jet pilot: (.)! Take a look out of starboard. Colonel: What is it, son? Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant. Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
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